Friday, 15 August 2008

Quick retorts by single blokes

Married people, please move on. This post is not for you.

Single folk, especially those under immense pressure from their families to jump into something that you don’t want to contemplate right now, please stand by… we may be able to help each other out.

Given that I have had a lot of time on my hands (see previous post), I decided to call my parents over to Hyderabad. And since I knew I was going to be home pretty much all the time, I asked them to come over on an extended stay. Exactly five hours before my parents arrived, it hit me that I could have a repeat of all the conversations I have had with them about marriage and how I’m not particularly thrilled by the idea of arranged marriages.

My scared self wishes to put together a collection of well-reasoned retorts that are sure to terminate any such conversation around arranged marriages, in favour of the single bloke. If you can add on to this list that I’m putting together, you would be helping out more than one poor soul:
  • Parents: We would like you to get married to someone all of us are comfortable with
    Single bloke: Are you thinking of my car?
  • Parents: What’s wrong with an arranged marriage?
    Single bloke: You cannot arrange a marriage; you can only arrange a wedding. Ergo …
  • Parents: We’ve found a lovely girl for you
    Single bloke: I’ve found a red apple for you
  • Parents: Even your friend X was OK with an arranged marriage. Why was it OK with him?
    Single bloke: Information Asymmetry? -- raise your eyebrows as you say this
  • Parents: Do you know how many good offers you have been getting?
    Single bloke: A good offer in a bad system still counts as a bad offer
  • Parents: Don’t you want a wife who can cook?
    Single bloke: You know, I bought this microwave oven last month and I still haven’t figured out how it works…

9 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

He better not marry a woman who likes to have the last word...

det-res said...

Wont work with parents.

Tried and tested.

Guru said...

hehe ... empathize man... completely empathize. Can we form a club or something.I hear unions help

chiranth said...

@det-res

Conviction, conviction, conviction.

You have to convince your folks about your conviction. They have to feel hopeless when they listen to your cold sound rational arguments.

p.s. note the lack of commas in the last sentence.

@Guru
Yep, I second the club. Any other takers?

A Line of Thought said...

A good offer in a bad system still counts as a bad offer

That's a classic. But then, what would you say if you get a bad offer in a good system? I mean you never knew it sucks until you joined your job :P

chiranth said...

@A line of thought

Didn't you read the first sentence?!?
Your comment is hereby ignored ;)

Rosh said...

lovely!!! awesome..

Priya said...

lol.. totally agree!!

Anonymous said...

i think looks like ur perspectives also changed about this over time...!